Happy Fathers’ Day to all you fathers out there. In some ways, I’m surprised this is still on the calendar. It seems like there is a lot of talk about toxic masculinity these days. And yes, using women, not being productive members of society, not dressing up for appropriately for special occasions, and being deadbeat dads are all reasons to dislike toxic masculinity. But I would argue that not all masculinity is toxic.
Ephesians 5:21-33 starts out with that famous line, “Wives should be subordinate to their husbands as to the Lord.” Actually, this is verse 22. Verse 21 reads, “Be subordinate to one another out of reverence for Christ.” When I go over these verses with couples in marriage preparation, I take the verses backwards. In verse 33, St. Paul talks about husbands should love his wife as himself. In verse 32, St. Paul says he is talking at an even deeper level about Christ and the church. In verse 29, St. Paul talks about husbands nourishing and cherishing his wife even as Christ does the church. In verse 25-28, St. Paul tells husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church. What did Christ do for the church? He died on the Cross to save the church, each one of us, from our sins. Christ sacrificed His very life for the good of His bride, the church. Men are called in a special way to initiate through sacrifice. Men are called in a special way to sacrifice for the good of those around them. Men are called to make this sacrifice by putting themselves last. I tell the woman in marriage preparation that if she knew that her husband was making decisions based on what was best first for their family, then what was best for her, and finally, if those things didn’t matter, what was best for himself, then would it really be that hard to do what he asks? Besides, the first verse again is, “Be subordinate to one another out of reverence for Christ.”
Study after study shows the importance of fathers when it comes to “keeping the faith.” A 1994 Swiss study showed that if both parents went to church faithfully (regardless of religion), then there was a 33% chance of the children going to church regularly when they grew up. If only mom takes the kids to church, only 2% will become life-long church-goers, while 37% will attend occasionally. However, if the father is active, 38-44% of the children grow up to be regular church-goers. I bring up these statistics not to negate the role that mothers have in passing on the faith, but to emphasize the role fathers have on passing on the faith. So often fathers will leave the “religious” stuff to the mother. A majority of the people involved in our churches are women. This needs to change. We need men to step up and be fathers not just on the sports field, but also in church. We need fathers to step up and lead others, especially their children, to eternal life with God in heaven.
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